New Clear Vision

What’s So Funny About It, Anyway?

from Wireless Services

(AI) — Amid rising tensions and escalating violence, well, everywhere, the Union of Global Hegemons (UGH) announced today that a deal has been reached in principle to abolish war and deploy the vast resources consumed by it for the purpose of establishing world peace.

“We used to talk about providing ‘guns and butter’ as part of our plan for world domination,” said UGH spokesperson Hugh Mennism, “but now we’ll be melting it all down in short order. So everyone will get a World Peace souvenir commemorative key chain, and a tub of delectable non-GMO popcorn to boot!”

The announcement was met with mixed reaction around the world. The entity formerly known as NATO released a statement calling the peace plan “unproductive and naive,” and warned against the pitfalls of appeasement. “We must continue to fight among ourselves in order to win,” the statement read. “To do otherwise is to capitulate to the forces of compassion that have caused the dangerous predicament in which we find ourselves today.” (more…)

We Eat By the Grace of Nature, Not By the Grace of Monsanto

by Jennifer Browdy de Hernandez

“Organic, schmorganic,” fumes New York Times columnist Roger Cohen sarcastically in an article entitled “The Organic Fable.”

He bases his sweeping dismissal of the organic foods movement on a new Stanford University study claiming that “fruits and vegetables labeled organic are, on average, no more nutritious than their cheaper conventional counterparts.”

Cohen does grant that “organic farming is probably better for the environment because less soil, flora and fauna are contaminated by chemicals…. So this is food that is better ecologically even if it is not better nutritionally.”

But he goes on to smear the organic movement as an elitist, pseudoscientific indulgence shot through with hype. (more…)